5 Biggest Lessons in Life and Business
At the end of every year, I find myself incredibly introspective and reflective of the lessons learned over the last 12 months. The theme for me in 2017 was surrounded by the words “fixing” and “building” to find my alignment for future endeavors.
Below are 5 of the most important lessons I learned in 2017. My intention by sharing my notes is to perhaps awaken your own lessons or give a sense of serenity that we all have challenges and struggles.
FORGIVENESS: I have an estranged relationship with my mother and through out the last 20 years, it has been a mix of healing and realities. Our relationship was never healthy and I found peace in loving her from afar. As my Priest advised me years ago, she has shelter, food and is taken care of and loving from afar is best for me and my family. Having not received a gift from her in decades, this year she mailed me two gifts that actually stunned me. It took me a few days to even open the package as I was scared of its contents. I debated on whether to accept or not accept the gifts as I felt all sorts of emotions, negative ties and soulful sell out sensations. I placed meanings on these two gifts she sent over the last few months and it spun my mind into chaos and re-living memories.
THE LESSON: Through discussing it with my closest friends, I accepted the gifts. Friends shared their perspective that it was perhaps her only way of apologizing. She was attempting to be a mother and this was the venue she selected. Forgiveness in this scenario has been quite difficult. But a sort of deep and profound healing has started to take place and the few positive memories are starting to surface. I now personally understand that forgiveness is more for ourselves than for others and at times a catalyst of events can pivot the focus on to love. I find that I am starting to forgive more than I ever thought possible. Forgiveness heals your heart and allows you to love more abundantly.
SURRENDER: One of my best friends committed suicide in October and it was a new found pain I had not felt before. He lived in Europe and I knew he was battling mental illness over the last year. Before his passing and through conversations, he reassured me that he was fine and on the mend. Our conversations were positive and he did indeed sound back to himself. I started to believe that he was alright and that his depression was a thing of the past. The devastating call informing me of his passing by his own choosing gave me a feeling of severe guilt in addition to the deep sadness. Could I have done more to save him?
THE LESSON: Sometimes in life we have to surrender to situations no matter how much we wished the conclusion was different. I struggled so much trying to find peace in the situation and the resolve of what I could have done to change the outcome. At the end, the feeling of surrendering to what is and what was took over. I surrendered to the finality and found peace. I recognized that he made a choice feeling that it was his only choice. I also surrendered to the concept that although physically he is no longer around, he will always be a spiritual presence in my life.
RELEASE: This year I removed the last pieces of toxic relationships that have engulfed me for years. At times, we don’t feel we have options to release relationships, friendships or situations. We feel stuck and without power to change scenarios closest to us. This year, I made the decision to remove all remaining toxic relationships [no matter how difficult the transition would be]. Love and success flourished shortly after.
THE LESSON: We often feel helpless and stuck in scenarios but when we truly find clarity for “what is”, regardless of its clothing, solutions arrive that release us. I feel more free as a result, life has become more colorful in beauty and a heaviness in my heart has left. Release the relationships that do not serve your higher purpose. Those that surround you define your life.
ALIGNMENT: This year I found my search for alignment in accordance to my vision to be at the strongest height in comparison to years past. The sense of my purpose and its connection to others really became clear and as a result drastic changes were made.
THE LESSON: Through the noise and loudness of life, we may lose our site of our own ultimate vision and purpose. We get bog down with standard rotations of work and life. The more days we are without clarity; the more days lead us away from our vision. Regularly taking time away from our daily living, to sit in peace and stillness, provides the ability to reflect, refocus and align. Every step we take should be in complete alignment to our vision. The alignment and persistence to get to the vision is success in its simplest form.
BELIEF This year was also the year where my belief was tested and triumphed. My intuition, my gut and my senses proved to be accurate which strengthened my belief in myself. For years, I didn’t trust my intuition 100% and I often got into unfavorable situations as a result. This year, I followed by gut more than ever and it led me into amazing opportunities.
THE LESSON: We often dismiss our intuition and have our brains sort out the reasons why and why not. We allow the brain to process the choices and paths in our way. When we give our intuition, gut, and belief the respect it needs, it will most often lead us into a beautiful place that our brain couldn’t grasp. When you use your intuition more and repeatedly, it repays you in strength and wisdom. Believe in yourself and what your heart tells you.
For 2018, I have already created themes for myself and used my reflection on past mistakes and successes to redefine my action plans. 2017 was about flushing out old notions of what no longer serves and 2018 is the rebirth with new strength and vigor. I am so incredibly excited for 2018.
Wishing you a beautiful New Year… may it be filled with magic and the fulfillment of your dreams.
Violette is the Founder of FemCity // an online global network featuring business and lifestyle trends with over 70 local communities designed exclusively for women. Violette is also a business coach, motivational speaker, small business consultant, writer and mother of three. As a serial entrepreneur with over 20 years of experience, Violette is passionate about supporting women entrepreneurs through business growth, big vision strategies and positivity along the way. She has been quoted in Success, Entrepreneur, MSNBC, and Mashable. She has been seen in People, InStyle, and Real Simple Magazines. For more inspiration and business tips, visit www.femcity.com and www.violettedeayala.com. Follow Violette de Ayala // @violettedeayala