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FemCity Des Moines

The key to successful connections

How many wrong jobs, relationships and pairs of jeans have we gotten ourselves into just for the sake of belonging?

For a long time, I wondered what was wrong with all the bosses I’ve had in my work history. I’ve worked with everyone from the “Queen B” to “The heartless  A-hole, ” and I prayed for answers to the question “what is the lesson behind this?” I believed that their legacy in my life would be, teaching me how NOT to act.

After moving and using “connection” as my primary survival mechanism, I realized that the lesson was an entirely different one, the moral behind my unfortunate work history is “Authenticity is Queen.”

I never asked the right question, and that’s why the answer evaded me for so long, (10 years to be exact) what was the question? “Why am I attracting these jobs?” or “Why am I attracting these people?” 


Why would someone I do not agree with, think I am a good fit for his/her job? Because I didn’t show up being my authentic self; even while knowing I wouldn’t be a good fit for the company culture, I still played the part of someone that was interested in the position.

I wanted to belong so bad, that playing whatever part, made sense until it didn’t. I was miserable going to work, answering phone calls, or just showing up, but still taking off the mask didn’t even seem like a possibility, so I would escape by quitting the job but not the behavior. 

I got asshole bosses because I was acting like an asshole. It is just that simple, when we play the part of someone else, we get someone else’s life and results. So whatever you do ladies, if nothing else, be yourselves!

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