The Reason We Haven’t Moved Ahead Faster | Written By: Nikki Novo
Sometimes I feel bad about the fact that I learn a lot from my clients. After all, they’re paying me to impart some sort of wisdom on them, yet often times, they are the ones schooling me. Should I offer them a discount?
But then I think, “well, if I weren’t so opened to learning from them, then I’d just be a conceited asshole.” I’m proud of the fact that I’m not a conceited asshole.
A lot of the time when we start working towards a goal, very quickly we begin to feel like we’re behind. We naturally start thinking, “Shit, if I only would have started this project two years ago when I first thought about it, I’d be so much more ahead.”
It’s an insecurity I hear all the time. And it’s an insecurity I feel all the time.
My path, like many, has been a winding one. How I got to the work I do today was very strange and unpredictable. But a part of me knew I wanted to this way before I actually started doing it, which is where the resentment kicks in.
I started blogging in 2008, so I often fantasize about where I might be now if I would have just stayed focused and known what I know today. But then I remember what a pointless thought that is.
Not only is replaying the past such a time sucker, but it’s also a negative vibe that will only attract more of the same. The vibe is “Your so dumb, Nikki. You always miss out. You’re lazy.” If that’s what’s happening in our energy and our thoughts, how are we ever going to make it to the next level? We need a next-level kind of vibe and thinking to get us there.
The other idea we have to understand is that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be. In those times where we look back and think we were just wasting time, we weren’t. In those times, our focus was on something else that was just as important as the goal we’re working towards now. Our “wasting time” was spent creating the foundations of a relationship, going to school, raising babies, having fun, and just straight-up discovering ourselves. That is all time well spent.
Time not well spent is looking back at the past with regrets. Without even knowing it, those thoughts are bringing us down, sucking our energy from doing anything new. What if we can take those thoughts and flip them on their head? What if we could stop those boring old thoughts and replace them with something positive and exciting? That’s how real change happens.
Never doubt for one second whether or not you’re on the right path. You absolutely are. All those right and wrong turns brought you here: to that place where you’re trying to get closer to your most authentic self. Because that’s where you are if you’re reading this. And that place, my friend, sounds like the right place to be, at the right time.
Nikki Novo is a Cuban-American author, motivational speaker, life coach, medium, and energy healer.
A certified hypnotherapist with the International Association of Counselors and Therapists, ThetaHealer(r) and Reiki healer, Nikki is the author of “Will I be Alone Forever? …And Other Dating Questions You Wish a Psychic Would Answer.” She has taught at The Standard Spa, Miami Beach and Soho Beach House. She has also been commissioned to speak by organizations like Levo League, Fordham University, Florida International University, Macy’s, Saks Fifth Avenue, Baptist Health, Femfessionals, and Latinas Bloggers Connect.
Previous to becoming an activist for authentic living, Nikki was the Miami editor for Refinery29, an editor for DailyCandy, and the associate editor at Miami magazine. Her work has been seen in Allure magazine, Town & Country, the Huffington Post, DailyWorth, MSN.com, Zagat.com, and others. She also spent time in the publicity department of Lionsgate and Fox Searchlight in Los Angeles.
As an expert in purposeful living, Nikki has been featured in Marie Claire, NBC, MSN.com, Telemundo, Babble.com, Arizona Latinos, Miami New Times, and Aventura Magazine. She also held relationship columns with eHarmony.com, the Huffington Post, Miami New Times, and Disney.com.
Nikki is a work-at-home entrepreneur and mom. She is a tribe member of her family consisting of her husband, tween-in-training daughter, toddler boy, and three-pound Yorkie – who is also her desk mate. http://www.nikkinovo.com