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What do You Really Want?

Written by Femfessional Nikki Novo

For the past three months, I’ve been feeling the energy of change. I feel it on my back, whispering in my ear, encouraging me to move quicker and with grace. Do you feel it, too?

I’ve heard these kind of subtle messages my whole life, and usually I tend to slow dance towards change, but this time, I can feel its urgency. So, I’ve been making the necessary changes. Most of them have to do with the way I see the world, myself, and my life. They’re internal changes — although a new bob found its way in the mix, too.

As the year approaches, there’s this one, last virtue I’ve been trying to wrap my arms around, yet it always seems to slip through my fingers. It has to do with commitment and solid decision-making.

In the past, I had the tendency to doubt my decisions, causing me to flip-flip from idea to idea. Is this the right path? No, maybe this one. Oops, no, not that one. And it would go on, until I made it stop.

Or I would resent the decisions I had already made. Like the days I would feel bad for myself for being a tired mother. “Why me,” I admittedly would think.

Over the past few months, I’ve convinced my mind that my decisions are good and worthy of commitment. And in this time, I’ve come to learn that making commitments is actually a form of magic.  Commitments are not here to make our lives miserable or boring. They’re here to manifest what we really want in life.

Commitments are not here to make our lives miserable or boring. They’re here to manifest what we really want in life.

And, yes, commitments are important, which is why they need to be thought through. Unfortunately, we don’t always have the luxury of tons of time when making decisions. As someone learning to not fear commitment, I’ve discovered that you only have to answer one question in order to protect yourself from decision regret.

The question is: “What do you really want?”

It’s such a simple question, yet we rarely allow ourselves to give an honest answer. Really, what do you want this year? Without internal judgments, what are your core desires?

For me, the answer was found in all those little dreams I’ve had that I’ve passed off as unrealistic. I took them out of the “you’re crazy” pile and dragged them into the light. “This is really what I want from life,” I told myself. And now, each small decision I make is to be aligned with this big answer.

If we can be courageous enough to get down and dirty with this question, our decisions will have a guiding point to work from. Answering this question suddenly creates the big picture of our lives. Without this understanding, every small decision or complicated scenario seems isolated and overwhelming. But if we know what we really want, we’ll finally find the stamina for the small moments in life. And we can live in peace knowing that the small stuff — whether they’re hard or easy — is just one piece of the big picture.

My hope is that you take some time today to answer that question for yourself. Ask your heart what it really wants from life. From that viewpoint, commitments are easier to make. And from there, the magic begins.

Here’s to magic making in 2016!

To read Nikki’s Blog, click here.

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