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Love & Business

Your Love Affair with Your Business | Written by Violette de Ayala, Founder and CEO of Femfessionals

The month of love is still upon us and through a series of honey bunny’s and “el amor” sentiments, the love for business was neglected in the valentine’s conversation. You can be completely head over heels in love with your business. Being in love with your business is the sweet spot between the flow of work, vision for the outcome and the actions taken day to day. The trio leads you to the loving arms of what you envision.

There are common threads in business that depict similar patterns with matters of the heart. As with humans, love for your work can at times reach moments of pure ecstasy and within a blink of time it may tinker and sway over to the dark side of doubt and regret. The swinging between the two often occur when things get tough, and a robust amount of negatives show up and the teeny tiny positives are left as an afterthought.

How do you reconnect to a business you once were incredibly in love with? How do you get past those moments that seem to knock you off your feet and make it unbearable to get back up and try again? How do you get that lovin’ feeling back in connection and the state of flow within your work hours grooving again?

I have endured a loss of love for my business at times, it’s human. The real test of a hearty business soul is how you get back in the game. Here are some tips I used to get that groove back on and business flourishing after the hard knocks of entrepreneurship cracked my heart.

1. Vision: I found that when I lost the heartbeat in my business flow, or felt a bit depleted, the first thing to start hiding was my clear vision. While working 50-60 hour weeks with at times little reward, my vision became murky and became filled with frustration. Reconnecting to my vision got me out of this bumpy road and brought back my heart to the work. What is your vision? Where do you see this road going? Hold onto that vision during the dark moments of stress as it will serve as your guiding light.

2. Purpose: Through the years of Femfessionals, I have received job offers that were filled with “easy way outs”; a big salary, working less hours, and easier living were the tempting thoughts popping into my head. But my purpose, my spirit binding purpose, my soulful connection to the work was what kept me going with Femfessionals. My purpose was stronger than any of the temptations. Often, I would receive an email from a stranger across the world, thanking me for my work with Femfessionals. The email served as a reminder that my work was changing the world. My work was a part of my heart. Those random emails served as the kick in the butt I needed to reconnect with my purpose all anew. What is your purpose? How is your heart connected to your work and the impact it makes with those that you serve?

3. Happiness: I found in the yucky moments of entrepreneurship, my happiness level was low and usually connected to the need to recharge and disconnect from work. Since then, I have incorporated many breaks in my day, hours in my week and focused on activities that make me happy. When we are in the falling abyss of work, we can’t remember what light looks like anymore. That darkness settles in our guts and it feels bad. Stop and take a break. You might need a vacation or a few hours away from work. Happiness is key to finding the love again. If you can do an activity that brings you joy at work, that is ideal! I love teaching our classes and that makes me happy. I now teach all the time. It’s my work happy place. What’s your work happy place?

4. Support: It’s a saying I love to say “the five people you hang out with are representative of where you are and what you will be”. I think I paraphrased that a bit to match the way I interpret the saying. Look at those around you and seek those that support you. Spend more time with your support network and uplifting mentors. Surround yourself with those connected to their purpose and in love with their work. Love is contagious. It will rub off on you.

5. Desire: Desire is different than vision. Desire is that stomach sensation that makes you want something so much that you move into fear and face it head on. Desire is the friend that makes you move with gumption into areas that will push you closer to your vision. Desire is the “it” of the flow. Allow your desire to manifest your steps into acting towards the vision you have for you and your business.

Combining these 5 steps has facilitated my embrace to fall back in love with my work and serve my path towards my ultimate vision. I am so happy that I didn’t give up, didn’t give in and kept on through the treacherous road of self-employment.

Decide you want to be in love again. Take the steps to fall in love again. The reward of a unified vision and engaged work path will result in it loving you right back.

Violette is the Founder of Femfessionals [a global online and local community for women entrepreneurs], a small business expert, writer and mother of three. A serial entrepreneur with 20-plus years of experience, Violette is passionate about supporting women entrepreneurs through business growth, big vision strategies and positivity.


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  • Deborah / 18 February 2016 2:15

    Thank you Violette! After a month of numerous heartbreaks I my business, I definitely needed help at regaining that “loving feeling” your article couldn’t have come at a better time! It helped me to reconnect with my purpose which is” truly listening to my clients vision and providing creative solutions that make their home truly theirs to live in and love” .
    I have definitely been feeling like I was in a bad relationship. Part of my work in this is to examine and take responsibility for the dynamic that lands me in this spot. Since designing people homes can be an intimate affair that requires a great deal of trust, I often “bend over backwards” to please them I’m afraid. This can enable a bad dynamic where I feel used and disrespected. I am resolved to restablish my boundaries and seek relationships with clients that value my worth. I have to believe that this challenge of maintaining balance is not uncommon for women in business…

    • Violette de Ayala / 18 February 2016 9:43

      Hi Deborah, thank you for your post. I believe that it is a challenge that women have in business. It’s a great topic and the more we share the more we can help each other surpass the challenge. Let me know how it goes.

  • Liz / 18 February 2016 3:58

    I love your authentic style of writing, it is truly enjoyable and helpful, and comes from the heart.
    Your mission with Femfessionals is making a difference in the lives of so many women.
    Thank you for all of your hard work. It is appreciated.

    • Violette de Ayala / 18 February 2016 6:42

      Thank you so much Liz. This post touched my heart. I very much appreciate this post from you. See ya in Bali. 😀

  • Daniela Garcia / 18 February 2016 4:16

    Your soul is SO beautiful… Thank you for sharing this – it was much needed.

  • Cheryl / 18 February 2016 9:26

    Hey Violette. Great words. Thank you for all that you do in sharing your passion, frustration and knowledge. Sometimes we need to just realize we’re doing the best we can and we are enough. I appreciate you for working so hard for all of us!

  • Flora Gutierrez / 21 February 2016 7:47

    Violette, Thank you so much for being such a great leader, mentor and strong business women. I can definitely identify with this article in so many ways through out my career as an entrepreneur. The struggles that we go through in our businesses, definitely allow us to fall out of love and we always need to find ways to work on our business. We all have a vision with goals on how to get there and never give. I do believe that we all have a purpose to make a difference and our purpose is the reason we are who we are and want we want to be. We all need to be happy through the good and bad times and there are times like you have mentioned that we need to take a mental break perhaps a wknd, a week vacation or a couple of hours for others. Definitely support is the most important part of the formula because with no support or any positive influence, there no way that we will be able to move forward unless we’re strong within to roll with the punches. Desire is important and I had the desire to bring Femfessionals Cape Coral first and will be launching Fort Myers chapter head on. I do want to close with the following two quote which I was able to identify: Always be yourself, never give up and keep the momentum going on what you want to accomplish in your life. Hard work, being supported with people who support you and perseverance truly pays off in the long run!! Flora Sanchez…
    “There’s going to be people along the way who will undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame. If you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you. Someday when you get where your going to. Your going to look around and you will see it was you and the ones who love you who put you there. That the greatest feeling in the world.” — Taylor Swift the Grammy 2016 acceptance speech for album of the year
    I knew that this was organization well needed here and I just went head on and I haven’t looked back ever since. This is thanks to all of you in the Femfessionals Organization as well as all of my #FemtasticFemfessionals #CapeCoral #FortMyers. All of you are really supported me, backed me up and continue to do so!!

  • Sarah Arnold / 21 February 2016 10:25

    Thank you for all you do!

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